Clarity Creates Confidence

“What do you know now that you wish you knew back then?”

This is perhaps the most important question a student could ask a mentor or role model. If I were to answer this inquiry for my younger self, this is what I would say. 

If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster.

– Dr. Stephen R. Covey, author of the best-selling book,
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Dream. Set an aim. Be intentional. 

Why? Because the likelihood of hitting a set target will always be less than 100%; however, hitting a target never set will always be 0%. Goals matter. A bad plan is better than no plan. Ambition, which is a strong desire to achieve a particular goal, is the difference that makes all the difference. 

When speaking to audiences about mental performance, I oftentimes start by sharing what happened to me as a seventeen-year-old teenager and how I overcame it. Very long story short, I went from a flourishing student-athlete as a junior in high school to just a student with a stress fracture in my lower spine whose mother was fighting for her life against Stage 3 T-Cell Lymphoblastic Lymphoma. From northern New Jersey lacrosse player of the year to a questioning, seemingly weak wanderer looking for a way out. 

Sleepless nights staring at the ceiling led me to writing some poetry but mostly negative thoughts on paper. Hoping. Wondering. Praying. The tears running down my face found refuge by hiding inside words. And when my cathartic release subsided, I closed my eyes and visualized. Somehow, someway I saw a future version of myself who sprinted again, scored again, and had impact through how he carried himself.

My pain became my purpose. I did not know it back then but what I was engaging in could be called Sport Psychology. The pictures I created in my mind, the words I wrote and whispered to myself, the vision I refused to lose… they not only became a sanctuary for me to find momentary peace, they turned an inner spark into a flame and then a fire. 

That fire still burns today. 

As the late great motivational speaker, Jim Rohn, once proclaimed: “A fuzzy future has little pull power.” A single thought possesses the power to control behavior. Direction makes distractions irrelevant. Living intentionally is the bedrock to greatness. 

Although unknowingly, the intentions I set when I was laid up in bed were tattooed on my subconscious mind. Things happen twice: first in imagination and then in reality. That’s the most powerful nation that exists: your imagination. Utilize it. Program it. Let it create a future worth living.

So, Mark, keep repeating what you did before. At least once a year, set and audit your intentions. Don’t allow the anxiety that comes from complexity win; create confidence through clarity.

You cannot defeat what you don’t define. 

You cannot change what you don’t confront. 

The only way out is to go deep within.