We Must Put Ourselves on the Line

Thoughts are the language of the brain.

Emotions are the language of the body.

Actions communicate of what we believe.

“Belief doesn’t just happen because you hang something up on a wall. It comes from in here (points to his heart). And up here (points to his head). Down here (points to his gut). The only problem is, we all got so much junk floating through us, a lot of times we end up getting in our own way. You know, things like envy or fear, shame. I don’t want to mess around with that stuff anymore. You know what I mean? Do you? No. Do you? Hell no. Well, you know what I want to mess around with? The belief that I matter, regardless of what I do or don’t achieve. Or, the belief that we all deserve to be loved, whether we’ve been hurt or maybe we’ve hurt somebody else. Or, what about the belief of hope? That’s what I want to mess with. Believing that things can get better... that I can get better… that we will get better. To believe in yourself and to believe in one another, that’s fundamental to being alive. If you can do that, if each of you can truly do that… nobody can rip that apart.” — Ted Lasso, as he tears up a sign that says, BELIEVE

To understand what someone truly believes, about himself and the world around him, pay attention to his actions.

To know how someone deeply feels, about herself and the what matters most to her, notice her behaviors.

To figure out the stories people tell themselves inside, watch what they do outside.

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Years ago, an individual who helped someone navigate internal and relational problems was known as a “shrink.” For over a century, a shrink was said to reduce one’s ego, decrease one’s difficulties, and lessen loads that piled up in one’s head. Honest conversations and proactive planning with an admired advisor was curative.

Rather than removing burdens, I view my calling as a performance coach moreso like a “stretch” than a shrink. Why? Because I cannot extract difficulties from the lives of the clients and teams I work with; I aim to help them increase their capacity to overcome obstacles. Over and over again, I encourage and empower them to put themselves on the line, to fail fast, to stretch beyond their current capabilities.

Problems never go away; they become smaller as we get stronger, braver, and more courageous.

A cure for conflict is curiosity.

A relief from panic is belief.

An antidote to fear is action.

Research points to a person having 6,000-60,000 thoughts per day — 95% of thoughts we have today are ones we had yesterday. These repeated thoughts allow us to carry out our days on autopilot. These repeated thoughts keep us free from too much uncertainty. These repeated thoughts, due to volume, become our beliefs — which in turn, become our behaviors. The blessing of repeated thoughts: survival through automatic actions. The curse of repeated thoughts: days-to-decades of ordinary existence until death.

“We are not what we think. We become what we believe. Our affections affect our actions.”

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

For things to get better around us, we must become better.

To become better, we energize our thoughts into empowering beliefs.

There are two ways to accomplish this:

1. Repetitions
2. Emotional experiences

Do so much volume it would be unreasonable you are not successful.

– Alex Hormozi, nine-figure net-worth entrepreneur

Nobody remembers where he or she was and what happened on 8/11/2001. Millions of people remember where he or she was and what happened on 9/11/2001. Serious emotional experiences create so much faith or (in this case) so much fear, we completely rewire our internal software and belief systems to handle similar future events. When we wish to live a life full of significant satisfaction, faith-filled impact, and meaningful enjoyment, we stretch ourselves.

Call to Action: Select one, two, or three new habits to repeat every day. These habits should not be so easy they only take a few seconds to complete (because anything easy to do is also easy to not do!). These habits should not be so difficult they demand hours of your time each day. Beginning a habit that takes at least 10 minutes, no more than 30 minutes, is a great starting point. Choose habits aligned with your values. Examples: read the Bible every day to deepen your faith; or consume dozens of ounces of water every day to hydrate your body and enhance your physical health, etc. It’s easier to do something every day than every once in a while!

Bonus Call to Action: Create a bucket list of emotional experiences to pull you out of your comfort zone and into your stretch zone. For some people, skydiving or hiking a mountain might be undemanding; for others, reading an entire book or going on a meditation retreat for a few days might seem too challenging (at least, to start). Again, this bucket list should align with your values. Examples: go on a family vacation far away to deepen your connections with closest relationships; or schedule an endeavor you must train for to stretch your body, mind, and spirit.

Thoughts are like clouds, they pass.

Beliefs are like storms, they force us to hide or to come alive.

Stop just saying words on a sign; go put yourself on the line!

- MG