Gratitude is a Choice

It is the parent of all other positive emotions, which means it momentously generates other uplifting emotions. It focuses our attention on what we have, including our health and closest relationships, instead of what we lack. It is a choice.

When we concentrate consistently and continuously on all we have, we cultivate an abundance mindset.

Abundance > scarcity.

Appreciation > expectation.

Have > want.

I recently enjoyed studying the life of Joan Didion, one of the greatest American writers in the last 100 years. I cannot relate to drinking a Diet Coke and smoking a cigarette every morning; however, I relate to her famous quote: “I write about what I have.” [As a student, a coach, and a speaker, I work with what I believe to be true right now]. If Joan was fighting with her husband, she wrote about it (even though he was her editor!). If Joan noticed an injustice, a sunset setting on the horizon of an ocean, or an idea she daydreamed, she wrote about it. If she experienced writer’s block, she wrote about that, too. She never aimed to lie, to cheat reality, or to manipulate her audience. She simply wrote about what she had. By presenting what she had in the present moment as a present for others, Joan embodied gratitude.

How difficult it is to be grateful?

Well, it depends if we want to be. Anger provides a rush for seconds. Feeling angry is temporary. Thankfulness lasts.

How hard is it to become present?

Well, monks devote their whole lives to it. Each of them strive to attend to life’s graces when his mind races.

What is the best way to become present?

An important psychological term called “priming” can drastically change our lives. Priming is an action that involves setting one’s mind for a day, a task, or a performance. It’s relatively synonymous with intention. When we intentionally and habitually activate our bodies and minds with movements and words, we prime ourselves for certain activities. Although we are not in control of outcomes, we can influence outcomes by priming. A dynamic warm-up primes us for a workout. Cold water primes us for exertion. A warm bath primes us to wind down after a long day. A bedtime routine primes us for a restful sleep. When X is completed, Y is more likely to occur — that’s priming. 

One of the greatest priming techniques, 3-3-3, has helped me thrive over the last several months. Right when I wake up, I vividly think about three things I am grateful for. Rather than something vague, I choose something specific that moves me emotionally, such as my goddaughter’s smile. Next, I imagine three things that would make the day great. As an echo from my last blog: the more specific, the more terrific. Where do I want to adventure to today? Who do I want to connect with? What would I love to accomplish? Then, to finish the morning priming, I lie quietly for three minutes. I allow God to put any three things on my mind and my heart. Sometimes He brings me a specific person I should reach out to. Sometimes He asks me to take on a certain task. Sometimes He wants me to know I am protected, no matter what the day brings. Once the 3-3-3 is complete, I say, “Today is going to be a great day!” Then I’m on my way.

Gratitude is a choice.

There’s a legend within New Jersey’s lacrosse community that amplifies the power of gratitude. One of the top schools once had a three-sport All-American student-athlete who verbally committed to play Division I lacrosse at a top-10 collegiate program. One evening, during his senior year of high school, he took on the role of designated driver for his friends. Late at night, as he drove all his friends home from a party, he got into a terrible car accident. Hours later, he underwent surgery. Days later, he was diagnosed with paraplegia, and exited the hospital in a wheelchair. Weeks later, he showed up at varsity lacrosse practice as it was ending. His coach was blowing the whistle for the players to run sprints. The boy said to his coach, “I used to hate doing these sprints at the end of practice. Now, I would do anything to be with those guys running. I guess you don’t realize what you have until it’s taken away from you.” These words deeply moved his coach… so much so that a tradition began right then and there. To this day, right after that coach blows the whistle to initiate another sprint, all the players on the team scream in unison, “Thank you!”

We must love what we already have while striving valiantly for what’s most important to us.

Perpetual wanting makes us worry.

Everyday gratitude allows us to embrace the present moment as is.

Gratitude is a choice.

🎙️Click here to listen to Mark Glicini’s monthly episodes of his podcast, GRATEFUL and Full of Greatness.