What we want more than anything is not fame, money, nor happiness. It’s not freedom, independence, nor security. It’s not health, wealth, nor respect.
We want clarity.
Clarity opens doors to all other desires.
Human beings have anywhere between 6,000 and 60,000 thoughts in a day. Which ones matter most? Which ones are important versus irrelevant? Which ones should we let dock, harbor, and reside in our minds?
Inside any conversation, repeated words tend to be significant. Even if a conversation is within our own heads, it’s fruitful to notice common narratives. Similar to how our eyes look, and sometimes stare, at what’s most valuable… recurrent ideas possess gravity. Fleeting thoughts, ones that pass and rarely return, are trivial. Lasting thoughts are worth paying attention to.
Great athletes write down their goals, journal often, and express themselves on paper.
Great charitable organizations capture Board Meeting notes and highlight key takeaways.
Great businesses track progress, measure Key Performance Indicators, and distinctly define the company’s vision.
What’s imagined, articulated, and communicated gets created.
Abracadabra: “As we speak, so we create!”
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Imagine being at a hospital because a family member or a friend is injured or ill. It would be hard enough to see a loved one struggle; it would be even more difficult if the diagnosis was unknown.
Imagine being in a heated argument with a romantic partner or a friend. It would be painful enough to disagree; it would hurt even more if said disagreement remained unresolved.
Imagine being stripped of all financial resources or social reputation. It would be agonizing enough to see prior work sabotaged; it would even more terrifying if ways to reconcile the situation were uncertain.
Perceived clarity, even if news turns out to be false or negative, provides peace.
How do we feel when our son or daughter lets us know they got to a destination safe and sound? Why do we like when our Uber or Lyft notifies us of the exact number of minutes until arrival? What’s the reason we put specific start and end times for meetings, set alarms and reminders when we cook, and schedule events on our calendars?
Clarity gives us a sense of control.
A sense of control gives us an instinct of meaning.
An instinct of meaning gives us vitality.
Vitality: the state of being strong and active; irreplaceable, life-force energy; the power giving continuance of life, present in all living things
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As a performance coach, what I want for my clients will always be secondary to what they want. After introductions and explanations, my focus is to be a mirror and a guiding light. They deserve a safe space to fully see who they are. They deserve questions from a person eager to listen. They deserve to know who they could be by deciding, extremely specifically, what they want.
Why?
Because when we aim wholeheartedly at our dreams, events never turn out the way we want them to; they turn out even better.
In the book, Rethinking Positive Thinking, Gabriele Oettingen presents a fascinating framework for motivation: WOOP.
Wish: Identify an ultimate vision to achieve
Outcome: Visualize the best possible result of achieving that vision, including the emotions and feelings associated with it
Obstacle: Pinpoint a main barrier within ourselves that could prevent “success”
Plan: Create an “if—then” map to overcome said obstacle
This four-step process, which should be followed in the exact order above (never concentrating on obstacle before outcome), empowers individuals towards vitality. Each step should be defined clearly. Clarity of each step enthuses an individual’s spirit to continue forward. Continuing forward, through Oettingen’s mental contrasting framework, is the name of the game we call life.
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The opposite of clarity is complexity.
Fear is the main reason for freeze, whereas clarity makes our very next action a breeze.
Call to Action: Purchase a training diary, which I refer to as a Mental Performance Journal. Write down what you’re afraid of, what’s heavy on your heart, and your WOOP. Consistently capture your thoughts and see which ones tend to repeat and resurface. Decide which thoughts are worth writing down and which thoughts can fleet away. Our decisions are based upon what we value most meaningfully — journaling, taking account for recurring thoughts, is an activity common among the healthy, wealthy, and respected.
Throughout her teenage years, Anna Hall broke national high school records in the Track & Field event called the Heptathlon. Around her 20th birthday in 2021, she suffered a fracture in her foot, along with torn ligaments, during a 100m hurdles race. Forced to have surgery, Anna missed Olympic Trials. Throughout the months of non-weight bearing activity, pool workouts, upper-body training, and a slow reintroduction to impact exercise, Anna wrote in her training diary.
She tracked her recovery protocols, expressed her frustrations, and consistently convinced herself that she would return better than before. In 2022, less than a year from surgery, she won the NCAA Heptathlon title and qualified for Team USA. Before age 22, she won Bronze at the World Championships. Now a top-three heptathlete in the world, Anna is a serious gold-medal contender at the next Summer Olympics.
These accomplishments are byproducts of words, affirmations, and incantations repeated in her Mental Performance Journal: “This is my event, my title, my spot… I’m going to take it… One event, attempt, cue at a time—nothing can stop me… I have done everything I could possibly do to get here; now it is time to have fun. This is the easy part… And even when I am afraid, I put trust in Him—Psalm 56:3… I will fight for every hundredth, inch, point… I’M STILL HERE!”
Respect, wealth, and health are downstream from our thoughts.
Our thoughts, when captured, fuel our vitality...
because the engine of vitality is clarity!
- MG