Fear takes over when we do not take action.
Faith, fear’s nemesis, grows as we go.
Here are three endeavors I took on years ago and their respective parts that caused the most caution: When skydiving, the scariest moment happened at the door of the plane, right before jumping — looking down at the Earth over 12,000 feet away caused my brain to bark, “Stop, don’t do it. Go back inside and sit down.” When running a marathon, the starting line was terrifying — waiting for the starter pistol to blow triggered butterflies in my belly. When climbing a huge mountain, cortisol from anxiety flushed through my veins as I stared at the peak — wandering down trails calmed down doubts from wondering about worst-case scenarios before beginning the hike. Oftentimes it’s better to not know and still go than fantasize, metastasize fear, and over-think.
Alongside action, a personal board of advisors negates nervousness. Connection and communication with experienced, intelligent, and wise individuals provide psychological safety. Psychological safety allows us to take on more risk. Developing an appetite for risk comes from connection and communication with one’s own personal board of advisors.
• Who can help me?
• Who knows more about this than I do?
• Who has more experience, knowledge, and wisdom about this problem I am currently attempting to solve?
Good judgment comes from experience, which comes from bad judgment.
— Bill Gurley, author of Runnin’ Down a Dream and distinguished venture capitalist for Benchmark
Although I do not particularly like when someone states, “I would be nothing without you” (since such a statement implies one human being is omnipotent and absolutely necessary for survival), it’s fair to claim I would a fraction of the professional athlete, the performance coach, and the public speaker I am today without my mentors and role models. [The root of the word “soulmate” means God; whereas the root of the word “mentor” means advisor]. These personal board of advisors have helped me look under rocks I did not know existed, navigate terrain I never ventured into before (both physically and psychologically), and ask questions about topics I previously remained oblivious to. One mentor assists me with progressive relaxation and motivational pep talks. Another mentor shows me the ropes in business, entrepreneurship, and investment strategies. Others hold my hand through intangible fields like emotional fitness, goal-setting, and relationships.
I can only lead to the degree I am led; I may only be followed to the extent I follow; I will only inspire up to the parts, points, and people I am inspired by.
“Everyone deserves a mentor. For every career crisis, every fork in the road, you need someone to talk to. Someone who’s been there before, who knows exactly how wobbly and conflicted you feel, who can give it to you straight: Here’s how to think about choosing a job. Here’s how to be a better manager. Here’s how to approach design. Here’s how to start a company. Here’s how to run it.” These mentors become our heroes. “And let me tell you, there is nothing in the world that feels better than helping your hero in a meaningful way and earning their trust—watching them realize you know what you’re talking about, that you can be relied on, that you’re someone to remember… That’s the great thing about heroes. You can use their inspiration to drive you. If you do it right, and listen carefully, they’ll share decades of learning. And then, one day, you might return the favor.” — Tony Fadell, author of BUILD: An Unorthodox Guide to Making Things Worth Making & inventor of the iPod, iPhone, and Nest
20% of Nobel Prize winners had mentors who also won Nobel Prizes.
75% of Fortune 500 CEOs report role models significantly impacted their career trajectory and development.
100% of me viscerally knows a fundamental truth about life: one role model who believes in a person drastically changes the probability of his or her consistent successes versus consistent failures.
Tara VanDerveer and Mike Krzyzewski, two of the most winning coaches in NCAA DI Basketball History, learned under Bobby Knight. Oprah pointed to her grandmother, Hattie Mae, as the one person who believed in her early on… as well as Maya Angelou as her most important mentor. Carl Jung had Sigmund Freud; Aristotle had Plato who had Socrates; both Kobe Bryant and Michael Jordan had Phil Jackson.
Like a beautiful flower needing a healthy, interconnecting, co-rising of phenomena: sunlight x water x nutrient-dense soil, etc… human beings need connecting bonds from childhood through adulthood, deep relationships amongst family or friends, plus encouragement from role models or peers.
What? You, too? I thought I was the only one!
— C.S. Lewis’ definition of friendship
A true friend is down when we are down as well as up when we are up. They match our energy during celebrations and frustrations. They feel into our sadness, happiness, and range of emotions in between. They empathize with us, not just sympathize, because love requires perceiving another’s well-being similar to our own.
When one of my dogs passed away, I remember who called and showed up versus stayed silent. When I won and lost lacrosse championships, I remember who reached out to congratulate and console. When I left Wall Street and started my own company, I remember who supported my decisions instead of questioned them. As we age, our circle of friends may shrink because breadth gives way to depth of relationships over time. Who has been there for us during our highest and lowest moments? Which individuals made us feel like we mattered? How many humans do we trust to tell anything and everything?
There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.
— Thomas Aquinas, renowned Christian philosopher
Being alone mimics taking loans out for one’s self-worth, whereas committed connections reflect earning great returns on investment, far beyond financial. The more connected we are, the more protected we are… from bouts of loneliness, doubts of uncertainty, and fear. Relational capital is the true source of health, immunity, and wealth.
Faith overcomes fear through action.
Personal board of advisors = life’s silver bullet.
As we go, let us decide: Who is coming with us?
- MG