“Discomfort is the price of admission for a meaningful life.” — Susan David
A meaningful life is full of possibilities, problems, and redemption.
Are any problems too big to overcome?
No…
With a big enough reason Why and a person Who believes in us, we will find and do the How.
Let’s make that “Who”… you!
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The hallmark of physical health is flexibility. A broken bone, a strained muscle, or a torn ligament requires a regimen of rigidity for recovery. The hallmark of mental health is resiliency. A death of a loved one, a relationship break-up, or a meaningful loss causes a season of sorrow. The hallmark of spiritual health is purity. A betrayal, a lie, or a deliberate sin stagnates internal water and fogs a soul.
A pure soul and a free mind comes from a relaxed heart and a healthy body.
Everyone could see how a physical, compound fracture makes rest necessary and surgery seemingly imperative. What about invisible injuries, where one’s spirit wavers, one’s mind fears, or one’s heart deeply aches? What about psychological aftermath from an injury, illness, or loss? What about unspoken doubts and silent shame?
Shame grows in secrecy.
Healing happens through honest dialogue.
Compassionate conversations are curative.
No event is good nor bad, our interpretations make it so. Every event, regardless of interpretation, happens for us. The summation of all our responses to events determines destiny, fixes fate, and leaves legacy.
What happened happened and could not have happened any other way because it didn’t.
– Peter Crone, The Mind Architect
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As someone who experienced traumas, studies trauma, and explores how human beings cope with trauma, I challenge: nobody wants to self-sabotage. Where there is smoke, there is fire — it requires careful consideration to look deeper — behind behaviors are histories, stories, and beliefs. If someone’s behavior does not make sense or frustrates, inquiry is the course to resolution, not judgment. Love demands patience, intentional communication, and courage to hold space.
Holding space, a term often using in therapy, can be completed by anyone. A license isn’t needed. A skill set isn’t vital. A permission isn’t mandatory. It calls for one thing: understanding. Uncomplaining understanding. To hold space is to fully see, hear, and support someone else regardless of events, outcomes, or results. Someone who holds space is not quick-to-anger and furious; they are curious.
All cures come from curiosity.
When the late great composer, Stephen Sondheim, was asked, “How do you create such beautiful music?” Sondheim paused, looked to the distance for a moment, and then replied, “I listen.”
The best gift we could give another person is being heard. Presence is the ultimate present. There’s no difference between attention and love — where we give our attention is where we give our love.
The past is full of stress. Why did that happen?
The future is full of anxiety. What if this happens?
The present is full of grace. So what, now what?
Perhaps the three most beautiful words to say to another human being: Tell me more.
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Dear Warrior Battling Back,
The reason we have fear is because we have a memory. No memory, no fear. We have memory and fear… and we also have something else: courage. As Aristotle once said, “Courage is the highest human virtue, all other virtues follow it.” We must have courage to be patient. We must have courage to be kind. We must have courage to risk, to try, to strive once more.
You’re scared, and rightly so. Your spark of interest has given way to flames of adversity, heartache, and misery. If you’re in pain, feel those feels until they no longer need to be felt. If you need a day to mourn, take a day. If you need a week to mourn, take a week. If you need months to mourn, take months. Never take years; for in years, we become captive to our fears, rather than captains of them. Action conquers fear.
When ready, rise again. Rise through faith, purpose, and relationships.
— Choose faith, belonging to something bigger than yourself; whatever that means to you.
— Acquire purpose, reason to strive forward; massive motives move mountains.
— Seek relationships, people who make you feel lighter and brighter when you’re around them.
You don’t have to move on. Instead, move through. Move through this pain, away from criticism and shame, toward a strong body, a clear mind, and a pure soul. Move through, into your next chapter, with faith, purpose, relationships.
There is no such thing as a great story without a great problem. No great problem, no great story. Those problems are yours, truly yours. Believe in possibility, all the people you can and inspire through your recovery, truly yours. What happens next is your story, truly all yours.
Life creates us and then we create our lives.
Go create once again!
From breakdown to breakthrough,
Mark
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Imagine a perspective that viewed all failures as feedback, all pains as professors, and all traumas as life’s greatest teachers. We would then see problems as challenges to meet rather than threats to defeat. We would then see opportunity in every obstacle. Fascination would overcome frustration.
Your conflicts—all the difficult things, the problematic situations in your life—are not random or accidental. They are yours. They belong to you. They are designed specifically for you by a part of you that loves you more than anything else. That part of you has created the roadblocks to lead you back to yourself. You are not moving in the right direction unless something is pricking you in the side, urging, “Look here. This way.” The part of you that loves you so deeply does not want you to miss your chance. It will go to great lengths to awaken you. If you refuse to listen, it may even allow you to suffer. What else can it do? That is its purpose.
– A. H. Almaas
What makes all religions the same?
Redemption.
All teachers, from Jesus to Moses, Muhammad to Buddha, suffered into truth. Their revelations came from undeniable pain. E.g. After he was betrayed by one of his best friends, Jesus was abused by a few, ridiculed by many, and nailed to a cross via crucifixion. Then, he resurrected. Without the resurrection, there is no such thing as Christianity. When we look at the histories of those we look up to, there is no such thing as an unscathed journey. In our own lives, without redeeming what was once lost, there is no such thing as recovery: to rediscover our true, healthy, and authentic selves.
No redemption, no religion.
No setback, no comeback.
No pain, no chance to regain.
Dear Warrior Battling Back, will you find courage within you to rise again?
- MG
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This past week, Anthony Kim displays what it looks like to battle back!