Sport is a continuous series of problem-solving events.
The definition of life is the exact same. Any game we play, craft we practice, and sport we compete in involves problems we must solve.
How do we score more points and earn that winning feeling?
How do we defend, get along with, and care for our team better?
What matters most to us, and how do we reach those goals?
Psychology of sport fascinates me. Whether we like it or not, our behaviors affect outcomes and our minds influence results. We with either constrict through a mentality of survival, or we compete through a mentality of striving towards what’s worthwhile. Those indifferent to the psychology of sport never make a lasting difference.
Compete: to strive together
Feeling lonely on a team exists as the last desired situation we could ever find ourselves. Have we ever felt like we were on an island in a crowded room, unloved in a ‘committed’ relationship, and or unseen on a team? If so, our sympathetic nervous system continues to fire, depleting precious internal resources while constantly ruminating about fighting, flighting, or freezing. Perceiving oneself as alone is okay and sometimes optimal; perceiving oneself as lonely, uncared for, and neglected is health-threatening.
Psychological Saftey is the most important belief a person can maintain to thrive in any relationship, on any team, for any organization. It’s not the absence of threat; it’s the presence of connection. It’s a feeling of certainty we will be okay regardless of winning or losing, succeeding or failing, actively contributing or underperforming. It’s an underlying and unwavering conviction we are loved despite imperfections.
Confidence is what we call psychological safety in sports, performances, and business.
Faith is what we call psychological safety in theology, spirituality, and religion.
Trust is what we call psychological safety in relationships.
When we perceive ourselves as psychologically safe, we take more risk. We tell ourselves an empowering inner narrative rather than a limiting one. We courageously attempt to “go for it” annd to strive with conviction when we know our loved one, our boss or coworker, our teacher or coach believes in us.
An athlete that feels psychologically unsafe will become tight, tense, and tentative. He or she thinks too much and trusts too little. He or she doubts, hesitates, and holds back. He or she wonders and wanders instead of asserting his or her abilities, following an unloving coach’s game-plan, and fully expressing his or her personality through creative play.
A student that feels psychologically unsafe will refrain from raising his or her hand in class. He or she will avoid asking questions, staying after class for extra help, and giving full effort on homework. He or she will seem to self-sabotage when, subconsciously, he or she does not want to be embarrassed by an unloving teacher.
A romantic partner that feels psychologically unsafe will be quietly furious instead of mindfully curious. He or she will dodge difficult discussions. He or she will seem anxious, depressed, or lazy to an unloving partner when, beneath the surface, he or she craves connection.
So, how do we attain the confidence, faith, and trust we all innately desire?
1st: The separation is in the preparation. We cannot be upset with any result we do not get from work we did not yet do. Preparation breeds self-efficacy, proof of skill. Constant and continuous rehearsal allows us to attain muscle memory, to become unconsciously competent, and to action without thinking. Pete Rose, one of the greatest Major League Baseball players of all time, finished his career with 4,256 hits. He also holds the record for the most at-bats with 14,053 — over 1,600 more than Hank Aaron, who has the second most. Imagine how many times Rose swung a bat from his childhood to and through his 24-professional-season career! Volume of attempts, failures, and repetitions provides confidence in any domain. Preparation creates differentiation.
2nd: Both spiritually and relationally, to pray means to ask earnestly. Following the Bible verse of Matthew 7:7, we must request the best from our lives, God, and loved ones. Through prayer, we receive answers. Through prayer, we build bonds. Through prayer, we create quiet trustworthiness. I recently heard Pope Leo XIV partakes in the discipline of confession weekly. Here is arguably the most known figure on the planet asking for forgiveness and a better way forward! Through his consistent confession, meditation, and prayer, he cleanses himself like a mirror so he may reflect the light of faith into others. Steadiness in prayer brings out steadiness everywhere.
3rd: Patience points to endurance, calmness amidst delay, and worthwhile suffering. Big dreams never arrive overnight. Waves do not crash where they are. Tapping one’s full potential takes time. Who would we love to be a decade from now? Who would we love to positively and significantly impact by the time our own eulogy is given? How would we like to be described on our tombstone, at our funerals, and by others long after flesh returns to dust? Those characteristics are earned over time via work through emotional deposits for decades. Trust takes years to build and seconds to break — patience determines whether it’s built or broken.
Prepare daily,
Pray often,
Choose patience.
- MG